


Jaejoong what the hell

by PrinceFrankie



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, yunjae - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Vomit, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4067908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceFrankie/pseuds/PrinceFrankie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaejoong is a major asshole with a big problem and not even Yunho can help him resolve it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jaejoong what the hell

**Author's Note:**

> It was late at night when I wrote this for a friend. TBH I know less than 10 DBSK songs so forgive me.  
> I suck at like punctuation n paragraphs but yeh

    Lips caked in vomit, rum, and compulsiveness were wiped somewhat clean by a shaky hand, the head belonging to said lips rising up from the toilet, a woozy grin now plastered on to them. Jaejoong lolled his head to the side, his warm cheek pressing against the coldness of the toilet seat, the action making his vision swim and the bile in his throat rise. To others, the side effects of alcohol would be enough to deter them from drinking to the brink of a black out, none the less, deter them from drinking to that point on a near daily basis, but Jaejoong didn’t see it that way.   
     The man’s body tightened as his mouth filled with acidic saliva, stomach cramping up for the next bout of puke.   
     No, Jaejoong found glamour and edginess with drinking in excess. Perhaps it was his masochistic nature, the torture alcohol brought. The dizziness, the heat building in your chest, the vomit, the headaches. Or maybe it was his needy side. The way alcohol made him trip and flush and stumble over words and how peoples good nature always led them to hold him upright and pet his hair as his stomach contents spilled into a porcelain bowl.  
Either way, he enjoyed taking his body to this level on a near constant basis. He didn’t think of what this could mean to him or his future. As for now he was having fun.  
     His head reentered the toilet as his dry heaving turned into somewhat digested wine and vodka. Only thing he could say badly about this all was how much more it burnt coming back up.  
     Jaejoong leaned back against the wall, pushing his hair back from his forehead as beads of sweat pooled on the heated skin. He couldn’t help but let out a hoarse laugh, mostly caused by the effects of a buzz taken too far.   
     At times like this he thought of weird things. Thoughts that only an intoxicated mind could conjure up. What if’s and conspiracy theories.  
     And sometimes he thought of things that made him sad. Thoughts that came from his sober mind, thoughts that begged to be drowned in more whiskey so that they could be forgotten, thoughts that made him think that his stomach wasn’t only emptying itself from the brandy.  
     He swallowed hard, the taste of acid and spit and suppressed shit scalding his damaged throat. The burning made his eyes water, but he suspected it was something else. Jaejoong looked away from the bowl, sniffing as these thoughts flooded him, leaving him ice cold, despite the heat coursing throughout him.  
_You know Changmin would have been here_ , he thought to himself, rubbing your back. _He would have been here if you hadn’t yelled at him to “take your goddamn worrying and shove it up your ass!”_  
 _Maybe Junsu would have brought you some water, if you didn’t ignore all of his phone calls when all he wanted to do was make sure you were alright and not blacked out on the street._  
 _Maybe Yoochun would smile at you instead of looking at you in disgust and shame._  
 _Maybe Yunho would still be happy to call you a friend._   
     Jaejoong’s gaze went to the white ceiling as tears started to drip from his eyes. He wished he could submerge these feelings into the bottom of a shot glass, but he knew that would only make the problem worse. If he could just make this, all this tension and antagonism, go away with the flip of a beer cap, he would.   
This cut deep into him. He didn’t know why he started drinking in the first place. Stress? Fears? He didn’t know it would escalate to this point. He didn’t know he’d lose the people he should be closest with. He didn’t know he would lose their empathy and their patience. He just wanted to relax a little. And now it seemed like no matter how many spirits he chugged, the anxiety only crept up on him more. The alcohol wasn’t fun anymore. No one stroked his hair when he vomited. The headaches dulled when compared to the throbbing he felt in his heart. He felt more alone than ever. And no one even gave him a look of pity anymore. Jaejoong sucked them all dry like the keg stands. They had no more humanly possible to give.  
Neither did he.  
     Jaejoong desperately wished for something strong right now. His throat began to tighten, knowing full well vomit wasn’t about to come up. He shoved his knuckles into his mouth as his body exploded with pent up pain, this feeling rushing throughout his body faster than any rum could. It made his legs shake and his lungs work faster. It made his mouth start to sob and beg for someone. His body shivered as his eyes leaked. It hurt. It hurt so much.   
     The mans body began to contract, pulling back into itself. Knees pressing against his chest, head buried in between them. Jaejoong let out a wail as the agony set deep into him.  
     Jaejoong thought he was alone in his misery when the bathroom door flew open, an enraged Yunho standing under the doorway. Yunho’s nose crinkled as the smell of puke hit him. His wide eyes landed on the crumpled mess that was his band mate. His jaw clenched and grinded taking the view in for a moment. Jaejoong sitting by an unflushed toilet, bawling with an arrangement of beer bottles surrounding him.  
     Yunho closed the distance between them before kneeling down and taking the others face in his hands with a stern yank.  
“You look disgusting.”  
     With the forced eye contact, Jaejoong was only able to cry harder, his breathing growing more erratic. He didn’t know what to feel, as his leader stared down at him like some spectacle. He wanted the attention, the answer to his call for help, but he feared the berating he was about to get.  
     “You look and smell like shit, Jaejoong.” Yunho said, nodding with each word, the intensity in his eyes saying he wasn’t kidding. Jaejoong hiccupped over a sob, trying to open his mouth to defend himself, his rancid breath making Yunho interrupt him.  
     “Shut up. Look Jaejoong. I’ve tried so hard with you. I’ve tried to limit you. I tried to talk to you. I tried to get you help. Nothing is working. What the hell do you want from us?” Yunho enunciated each word in his question, shaking the hand that held on the panicked ones jaw.  
     But Jaejoong didn’t know the answer. This whole predicament came from confusion and lack of understanding and selfishness and broken wine glasses. He loved Cognac but he hated the bitter hostility it brought from the ones he loved.  
     Jaejoong swallowed hard as his leader’s doe like eyes bore into him with a ferocity that came from exhaustion and worry. The drunk didn’t know what to say or how to react. A mixture of alcohol and fear flooded his thoughts making him incapable of anything more advanced than crying and sniffling.  
     “We miss you, Jaejoong.” The voice rang softer, a bit shaky on it’s delivery. Yunho’s eyes welled up, chewing on his bottom lip to keep his tears from turning into anything stronger, anything more powerful than what he could handle. He already felt powerless over Jaejoong, he didn’t need another thing to escape from his control.  
     “We miss you.” The sentence was executed with a crack and a shiver, the hand holding onto the others jaw loosening and moving to hold Jaejoong’s cheek tenderly.   
     Jaejoong gave the man before him a sincere look, despite the flood of tears and sobs. Yunho took this as a message received. At least the other was considering his impact on to the rest of the band. At lea-  
     His thought was interrupted as Jaejoong hauled himself over to the toilet, gurgling out whatever was left of his stomach contents.   
     Yunho stood up immediately, annoyance setting into his features. He looked down at his crumpled vocalist, his mouth pressing into a hard line.  
“Kim Jaejoong. Alcohol or DBSK. You pick.”   
     With that he flushed the toilet, the others head still shoved into it, and left the bathroom with the slam of the door.  
     Jaejoong rolled over onto his side, wiping his vomit stained lips with the sleeve of his shirt. The words sunk into him, as deep as the could, the booze making him rather dense.  
     Alcohol or DBSK, he mused in his head. Alcohol. DBSK.  
     The man chuckled to himself, picking up one if the scattered beer bottles around him and bringing the glass to his lips for a sip of it.   
     Yunho always said that, every time they had this talk.  
Every time.


End file.
